I have the world’s most wonderful husband. Sometimes I look at him and am so overcome with emotion and love, that I don’t ever feel that I could adequately express how I feel about him if I were ever asked to. His highest value in life is his family and he expresses this in everything he does. He works extremely hard to support us financially, all his spare time is spent at home with us and he always has the welfare of our children in the forefront of his mind. Even when he doesn’t particularly agree with something I suggest for the family, he will usually part with his hard earned cash, if I can just convince him of it’s worth.
But this devotion and support comes at a price: inherently he believes that his responsibility is to earn the money, and mine is to do everything else. (Sorry, I retract that. He’s recently taken on a new love of gardening which apparently falls under the category of “outside maintenance”, and is covered under the umbrella of “household chores”.) I digress. My point is that I don’t think I ever really questioned before I got married and had a squad of children, how much of the daily maintenance of our lives was his responsibility and how much was mine.
You know how it goes: at the start of a relationship we want to take care of our men. We take pride in looking after them, and derive much joy from watching them tuck into a meal we have lovingly prepared. We’re happy to tidy up the kitchen while they watch sport on the sofa, and we create these romantic visions in our head of life as a married couple and the domestic bliss that would surely ensue. Fast forward a couple of years, throw in a couple of kids and a full time job and life isn’t maybe quite so rosy.
Our problem as women is that we because we don’t compartmentalise our lives the way men do, we tend not to set rules and boundaries for each compartment. Questions such as “What am I willing to do, and what am I not?” do not feature on our radar. We multitask. But is our brilliance at multitasking actually serving us? Is it actually a positive? Or does our constant improvement in the area of multitasking, due to the ever increasing complexity of our daily lives, just mean that we never actually get the time to sit down and evaluate our areas of importance so that we can either fit in more of what we do want, and outsource the stuff we don’t.
Personally, I have stopped multitasking. I am practicing the art of starting and completing a job before I move onto the next one. In fact, I have developed a whole system of compartmentalising my areas of importance, and making sure that the most important ones are dealt with first, and the others in their turn. Our problem as women is that if ever we want to take on a new project, a new yoga class, a new study course or other, we don’t know how to tweak our current systems to fit it in. We’re too busy running around holding all the balls in the air that if we throw another ball in, we manage to keep it up for a while, but the rest come tumbling down. How many times have you started that new diet? Joined the new gym? Started the online study program? Promised to see your girlfriends for dinner at least once a month? And how many times did you actually follow through and achieve your goal?(assuming you had one)
I’m achieving so much more now that I ever have before, and all while raising four children and starting a new company. How? I took apart my current system, check the parts, oiled it and cleaned it, and put it back together. Almost like spring cleaning your home, it’s good to spring clean your life.
So what are the areas in your life that could do with a spring clean? I’d love to hear your feedback and comments. Tell me I’m not alone in my daily struggle!!! 🙂