The great question that has never been answered, and which I have not yet been able to answer, despite my thirty years of research into the feminine soul, is “What does a woman want?”
SIGMUND FREUD, Ernest Jones’ Sigmund Freud: Life and Work
I came across this quote recently and it got me thinking. What do we want? Do we know? Certainly if we don’t know then there is no way we would ever be able to adequately communicate it to the men in our lives. But yet, knowing what you want is the first step to achieving it.
So why is it so bloomin’ HARD?!? Even now with all my practice and experience, I find it hard to sit down and work out what I want. Sometimes I even feel wrong for wanting more than I have (because I am blessed with a lot).
Or sometimes I am so busy doing stuff, that I don’t want to take time to sit down and work out what I want, because this feels futile and ineffective. If I’m not achieving something right now in this moment, it seems pointless. I feel stronger when I am doing (cooking, cleaning, laundry, childcare…). I feel like I am achieving.
When I had my first baby I was in fight or flight for about a month trying to figure out what to do with this bundle of noise and bodily function. But because he wasn’t going away, I had to figure out how to look after him pretty quickly. I reacted to the situation and learned how to deal with it effectively. In fact, I attacked it with gusto and learned everything I could about sleep cycles and nutrition to ensure I could do the best job possible. I bet you were the same.
So now you have this other thing that you want to do for yourself, a dream you want to realise, but you have no idea how to start. How does one actually begin to work towards a dream?
Goal setting? Sounds wonderful, but how do you do it?
If only someone could give us a manual entitled “Follow these exact steps to realise your dream” (I might have a bash at writing one). It would be a best seller for Mumpreneurs the world over!
Planning and goal setting are foreign and scary, simply because we’ve never been taught how to do them. Our mothers didn’t sit us down when we were children and teach us how to make a goal measurable and work towards achieving it. Most likely because they didn’t know themselves. But like anything else in life, if you want a positive outcome it makes sense to plan. You can’t reach your destination without a map.
So write down your ideal destination and draw your map to get there. You’ll be thankful that you did.