Talking to many Mum-entrepreneurs, it seems that one of the biggest things we struggle with in our relationships with our spouses, is the issue of money. You know how it is – we give up work to care for our beautiful children, and suddenly we find ourselves without an income and having to account for every penny we spend, to a man who doesn’t understand our need for shoes and nice clothes. Team that with starting our own ventures (which are usually resisted before they’re accepted) and it’s really just a uphill struggle to have what we want for ourselves.
Please sir, can I have some more?
I don’t know about you but I used to hate asking my husband for money. I felt like I was going cap in hand, begging for him to throw me a crumb or two so that I could do something for myself, or even just pay for something for the kids. Suddenly our independence is gone with our income, and with it our self-esteem.
It was different when we were earning our own money because we felt as if the balance of power was more evenly distributed. But now it is tipped in his favour and you’re left holding the baby (pun intended).
His values versus your values
You see the problem with relying on someone else for your income, even if it is your beloved spouse, is that they will filter your request through their own values. And if their values don’t match yours in this particular instance, then the chances are you’re going to have to put up a pretty strong case for why you want the money in the first place. It just feels degrading, don’t you agree? We like what we like because we like it. Maybe we don’t need a new pair of shoes, but if we’d really really like to have a new pair, then that’s fair enough isn’t it? 😉
Mutually beneficial agreements
Ryan and I overcame this problem after he had daily heart failure while checking our bank account online. He just couldn’t cope with the lack of control any longer. So we arranged a monthly transfer amount, which meant that he knew exactly what was going out and I didn’t have to dread his asking what each individual amount I was spending was for.
Sister, do it for yourself!
Even better was starting my own company as the balance is redressed a little. My closet is filled with shoes, and my children are well educated, which is the thing I fight for the most. Mumpreneurs everywhere should be brave. You don’t need to go back into a 9-5 job to have what you want. With a little help and planning, you can have everything you want.
Be bold and go for it!