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Do I Matter To You? Why Noticing People Is One Of The Most Important Things You Can Do, To Build Positive Relationships

I’m a little obsessed with TED talks at the minute.  They’re available on Youtube and I am spending my evenings snuggled up in bed, listening to TED talks through my earphones, usually with one, two or three children asleep sprawled across me.  😀

I happened upon the talks when I was doing some research, and I have been blown away by how many wonderful, humanitarian and genuinely good people there are in the world.  I watched a talk last night by Angela Maiers which once again, rocked my world.

She was talking about how in this busy world that we live in, we’ve forgotten to notice people: we’ve forgotten how much people matter.  She shared how, as a writer, she spends her day noticing things and noticing people; and how she came to realise how much people loved to be noticed.  According to Angela, two of the most important words you can ever say to anyone are “I notice you”.

Think about it for a moment.

Think about how it feels when someone notices you and how it feels when they don’t.  When your husband notices that you’ve had your hair cut, it feels good.  When your boss notices how great you worked on a project, you feel proud.  When your friend notices that you’ve lost weight, you feel motivated.  Being noticed is wonderful.  Being noticed makes us feel worthwhile.

I have been practicing this today.  I spent my day noticing things about people, and dropping my notices into conversation.

I told my son how I noticed how much he’s been helping me around the house lately, and how thankful I was for it.  He went out of his way to help me more.  I told my husband how I had noticed how much time he’d been spending playing with the kids lately.  He took our daughter out for a hot chocolate while I prepared our barbecue in peace.  I told my niece how I’ve noticed how much she has improved in her artistic ability.  She literally beamed with pride.

It took practically nothing of me to notice these people, and my observations were entirely genuine.  But it was incredible how much my noticing out loud did to their feelings of self-worth; especially the children.

Practice noticing your kids and your loved ones.  Start to look for things to notice about them; things that you can share with them in a positive and genuine way.

For me, it has been a truly beautiful experience.



About kimconstable

I am Kim: mum to the gorgeous Corey, Kai, Maya and Jack. I own and run multilingual children's company ( I am passionate about ethics and upholding humanitarian values through education. Above all, I am a people person. I love human to human marketing and am insatiably curious about what drives us to do what we do and be who we are. Thank you for reading my blog. You matter to me.

6 responses »

  1. I love TEDs too, some amazing lectures – I wish Uni had been more like that!! I take it you’ve seen the famous Randy Pausch one? I sat in work watching it trying not to cry…it was excellent.

  2. No Lyns I haven’t, but I’m off right now to find it! Thanks for the recommendation. Love ya x

  3. I noticed that you write an positive article everyday to share with others and encourge others, although you are very busy with the kids and the business. It is really hard to insist on doing something. Thank you for ur article!

  4. Pingback: Do I Matter to You? | Girl Re-Imagined

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