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Success Redefined: How Living A Life Full Of Love Can Change How You Experience Your World

Tonight I was reading my eldest son Corey, a few chapters of his book (The Fox Hunters by Dick King Smith), before he went to sleep.

As I turned out the light, he turned his back to me and wriggled down into the spoon position, for a snuggle before sleep.  I put my arms around him and nuzzled my nose deep into his hair, and breathed in his unique blend of Corey-ness mixed with shampoo.

As I did this, I was transported back to the time when he was born and he slept in the bed with me.

Ryan sleeps in the spare room when all our kids are very young, so that they can sleep with me, and be fed throughout the night as needed.  It’s a time of really deep bonding for me, and one that I cherish.  I closed my eyes and remembered pressing his tiny body up against mine, his mouth on my breast, soothing him back to sleep; and it struck me in that moment, that this is still that exact same baby, just bigger and louder, and with more hair and vocabulary.

Sometimes I look at Corey and Kai (6 and 5), compared to Jack (9 months), and I want to halt time in it’s tracks.  I want to grab them, hold on tight, and pray that they won’t get any older, for I am terrified for the time when they are all grown up, and not my babies to kiss and cuddle anymore.

I wonder how Corey came to be six already – where did his baby years go?  Sometimes I feel sad that I maybe didn’t appreciate him enough, didn’t smell him enough, didn’t nuzzle him as much as I should’ve.

But you see if I didn’t, it was because I couldn’t.  

I was too busy waiting for him to walk, waiting for him to talk; praying for the time when he would sleep through the night and not need to feed anymore; always fixed on achieving the next milestone, and too distracted by Kai who came along after only 17 short months.  Where did the time go?

Did I love him enough?

Cherish him enough?

Do everything possible within my power, to show him how much he means to me?

Life passes by so quickly, and the older I get, the faster it goes.  So instead of trying to control things, and make life perfect, I have decided to concentrate on what’s really important:  family, kids, relationships, love.  These are the things you will remember when you are older.  Not how much money you had, or how many things you were able to buy.  Redefine your view of success.

Make a commitment to yourself today, to stay present in each moment and notice more of life.   

Live life to the full and never give yourself the chance to look back and think I wish…

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About kimconstable

I am Kim: mum to the gorgeous Corey, Kai, Maya and Jack. I own and run multilingual children's company (www.rainbowgardenni.co.uk). I am passionate about ethics and upholding humanitarian values through education. Above all, I am a people person. I love human to human marketing and am insatiably curious about what drives us to do what we do and be who we are. Thank you for reading my blog. You matter to me.

3 responses »

  1. Carole McCarthy

    I think this about Jemma all the time too – I treat her like a grown up and Lauren like the baby and in reality there’s only 2 years difference.

    Reply
  2. I know what you mean. When Kai was born, Corey was only 17 months and he seemed so grown up. I definitely expected more of him than was probably fair for his age. There’s a lot to be said for leaving a longer gap between your kids, so they have a chance to spend precious time with you and develop more fully, before the next one comes. But on the other hand, the boys are great pals and play together all the time, which might not have happened with a bigger gap. Hard to know what is best.

    Reply
  3. Pingback: Change Is The Only Constant « Lipgloss Entrepreneurs

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