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Category Archives: For when you just want to feel better

But Does It Make You Happy?

Happiness is not in the mere possession of money; it lies in the joy of achievement, in the thrill of creative effort.

Franklin D. Roosevelt

Human beings are natural adversity seekers.  

It has been said that if we do not have enough adversity in our lives, we will create it ourselves.  How?  By picking fights with our spouse, thrill seeking, spending, yoyo dieting, botox, exercising obsessively, drinking and having affairs.

The true nature of contentment lies in hard work and creative effort.  

True happiness, the kind that comes from within, is attained by commitment, persistence and personal achievement.  It comes from pushing yourself every day to achieve more and be more.  It comes from battling against the odds, to do something that is good for you, and brings your closer to where you want to be.

If you’re looking for happiness, then money won’t bring it.  

Money comes as an effect of doing something in which you feel your contribution was valuable.  Money in itself, will never bring sustainable happiness, or personal reward.

Do not make money your goal, if you are looking for greater happiness.

Instead, find the thing that you love, and concentrate on doing more of it.  

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What Makes You Happy?

I spend a lot of time figuring out what makes people happy.  

To do this of course, I start with myself and this is what I have come up with:

Happiness begins with developing an understanding of true sources of happiness (family, love, connection, effort strategies and self-esteem) and then setting our priorities in life, based on promoting and nurturing these sources.

Being happy also involves an inner discipline.  

It is a persistent process of actively looking for destructive mental states such as anger, suppression, guilt and envy, and trying to replace them with positive ones, such as kindness, compassion, forgiveness and love.

When my behaviour matches my beliefs (when I act as my highest self), I feel content, sated and happy.

To achieve true happiness, I always look for what is good and what is right and strive to be the best I can be in every moment.

What are your happy places?  When do you feel at your happiest?

Practice Breathing to Keep you Calm and Focused – From Sunny Spain!

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I’m sorry this blog post is a little late today.  You see I left the house at 7am with the family, destined for Spain.  I imagined that I would have loads of time when I got here to write today’s blog, but I was mistaken of course. What was I thinking?

The day was filled with travel, fun and frolics.  We had an easy journey with the kids, followed by a day that just ebbed and flowed.  The kids played in the pool while my sister and I shopped and prepared dinner.  The baby settled well in his cot, and the kids settled happily to bed.  As I write this, I am sitting on the balcony of our villa, over looking the pool and golf course, sipping a cold glass of rose wine.  Could life actually be any better?

You see I almost let myself get stressed tonight – almost.  I had forgotten to make up the bed with sheets and suddenly bedtime was upon us, the kids were tired and the baby was asleep in the room where the sheets were.  As I rummaged around looking for them in the drawers, he woke up and started to give off .  The other kids were calling for me to come snuggle them, and were complaining about the sheets not being as soft as they are at home (imagine!!!).  I found my blood pressure start to rise.   Then I looked around, realised I was in sunny Spain where the air is warm, the wine cold and the pool only a steps away, and I decided not to stress.  I gave myself a mental shake, left Jack grumbling in his cot, tended to the kids, found the sheets, settled everyone in bed and located my laptop.

You see it’s easy to allow ourselves to get stressed when all of our children are giving off at the same time.  Our senses are being bombarded with noise and distraction and we can become overwhelmed.  Yet, when you physically restrain yourself, the rewards are great.  The kids calm down, the world continues to spin and you feel wonderful for having coped so beautifully.

The moral of the story?  The next time you feel stressed, take a moment and breathe.  Count to ten slowly, and concentrate on your in and out breaths.  Resist the temptation to lose your temper.  Think about how good it feels.

More tomorrow!

Love Kim

Business Matters: How To Overcome The Times When you Struggle And Feel Alone

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I’ve always been a bit of a loner.

This statement may surprise some people who know me, as I am generally seen to be the life and soul of the party, always surrounded by people and always up to something new.  But yet, I’m also a total control freak and I have to work very hard to overcome my desire to control every situation and allow people to make their own decisions and mistakes.  Can anyone relate or am I out here on my own?

Often it feels like I’m steering this ship alone.  

Although I have great people who work for and with me, I haven’t yet found someone who truly shares my values enough to hop on board and steer this entrepreneurial vessel through rough waters.  Sometimes I just would love someone to sit down with and bounce ideas off.  Someone who gets what I am about and cares as passionately as I do.  Not a business partner as such, but someone who is treading a path similar to mine and can relate to my struggles.

But years of experience has taught me that the bad feelings pass and my motivation returns.  Now when I’m feeling alone and unmotivated, I use these three steps:

Step 1:  Recognise that one of the hardest things about starting your own business is the loneliness that ensues when you are doing all of the hard work to get it off the ground.  

We women are naturally herders.  We congregate en masse to share and relate.  We feel safe and happy when we have someone to listen to our ideas and understand.  When you’re still sitting at your desk at 11.30pm, the house is quiet and even your husband has gone to bed, it can be easy to give in to your tired body feeling and question if it’s all worth it.

Step 2:  Know that you’re never alone.

I’ve yet to meet another business woman who hasn’t considered giving up when the going was tough.  It’s why I’ve created the International Association of Mompreneurs (IAM) so that woman can connect around the world (launching September 2012), at any time of the day or night (think time zones) when they need to reach out and connect with another Mumpreneur, if only for a little spirit lifting chat.

Feeling alone doesn’t mean you’re not strong or that you’re not going to make it.  It means you’re human and have feelings, and that you are not a machine.  It also means that you probably just need a little R&R or just a little sleep.

Step 3:  Be gentle with yourself and most importantly, don’t give up.

Being human means embracing every part of yourself, the good and the bad.  And without the bad, you wouldn’t be able to appreciate the good.  Being human is about having feelings, both positive and negative: the yin and the yang.  However, the more you master your reaction to the negative feelings the easier it will become to handle them when they arise.  You’ll recognise that they don’t mean you’re failing.  You’ll know that the feeling will pass, and things will be positive again.  You’ll build persistence and start to achieve more than ever before.

Question: What are the ways you overcome the hard times in your life/business?

3 Ways To Help Mothers To Eradicate Guilt

“It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our humanity.”

Albert Einstein

I read this quote recently and it got me thinking about mothers, and  our propensity to feel guilty.

A read a book recently called Odin and the Sphinx, in which Keith Raniere and Ivy Nevares claim, that:

“Of all the luxuries technology affords us, thinking is without a doubt the greatest of all.  With every technological advancement comes an increasing ability to save time and effort – every generation is more efficient and has a better quality of life.”

Simply put, our ancestors did not feel guilty because they didn’t have the time.

So why do we direct our thinking time and emotional energy into a non-useful emotion such as guilt?  What is it about us mothers that causes us to feel guilty all the time?  Why do we shoulder the guilt, while the men appear to get off scott free?  Do we feel more deeply that our masculine counterparts?  Do we have a greater capacity for love than them?  Probably not.

In my experience, guilt is one of the most paralysing emotions a person can feel.  It can eat us up internally and destroy our motivation to achieve our dreams and work towards our vision.  However, it’s usefulness is much over rated and largely futile, if you are working towards measurable goals.

If you are working towards measurable goals then there will be no room for guilt.  If you’re not, then make changes to get you back on track and lose the guilt.

Guilt serves no purpose in achieving goals.

Try these three simple steps to beat guilt once and for all:

  1. Set measurable goals for all areas of your life including husband, children, family, business and fitness.  Consider what would be success in each area and what would be failure.  Measure each week how you are doing.
  2. The next time you choose to feel guilty ask yourself, why?  Why choose guilt over taking steps to make the situation right?  Think about what you can do differently next time and pledge to follow through.
  3. Don’t allow others to try to cause you to feel guilty.  Ask yourself, what does this person stand to gain if they cause me to feel guilty?  Do they have my best interests at heart, or their own?

Eradicate the guilt, and you will live a life full of purpose and vision.

You will achieve more of what you want and have a greater peace of mind.  And really, what’s more important than that anyway?

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