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Category Archives: Love and Relationships

Happy Baby Happy You

My sister Kerry Nevins has just started her very own blog, and amassed over sixteen likes of her first ever post!  

I am so proud of her.

She writes candidly and from the heart.  She offers no nonsense advice, and is great at bossing mums around when they need it the most, helping to ease their worries and make their path a little smoother.

I am honoured to share one of her posts with you today.

If you like what you read, and want to read more then hope you will visit her blog or Facebook page, and pass it on to any of your friends, who are struggling to cope with the demands of motherhood.

Step By Step

I remember when Amy was born, just staring at her and worrying about everything and anything, I felt like my world was turned upside down and nothing would ever be the same again.  Every time I looked at the back of her tiny neck, I cried.  I was a mess, so emotional, why couldn’t I just be happy?  I had the baby I had always longed for, she was so good, never cried, so content, yet I was falling to pieces.

My mum always told me that you have no control over your hormones – they control you.  You reason with yourself that you’re being ridiculous, that you should snap out of it, and aren’t you lucky you have a perfectly formed baby who’s as good as gold? Unfortunately, it’s just not that easy.  

If you are feeling overwhelmed with emotion then it’s time to put yourself first.  Friends and family will just have to wait to see your baby.  Take a ‘babymoon’, lock yourself away, ignore the phone and send those closest to you a message to say that you and your baby are taking a week or two to get to know one another.  You’re going to do this your way.

If people offer to help, don’t refuse.  Ask them to cook a meal or clean your windows – anything; they wouldn’t offer if they minded.  Think about how you feel when someone asks for your help – you’re flattered and eager to do your best to please them.  

Stop comparing yourself to other mums and how they’re coping, concentrate on yourself – most mums let on that they’re fine and, yes, many are, but you’re not alone if you’re finding it tough.  

Amy’s eleven now and Harry’s nine, I had none of the emotion with Harry that I had with Amy (even though Amy was an angel and Harry was very unsettled).  

Step by step, tomorrow’s a new day, you can do this 🙂

 

Love’s Last Gift

“Love’s last gift…remembrance”

It’s 10.06am and I’m sitting up in bed, laptop on my knee.

For the first time this morning, the silence is deafening; the two eldest boys have gone to tennis, the baby is sleeping and my daughter is occupied in the toy room downstairs.

So for the first time since we heard the news last night, I am able to fully process the devastating news that a bright young rugby star, who was a family friend, and one of my husband’s “boys”, died alongside his father and brother in a tragic farming accident at their home.

Nevin Spence was an incredible young man: bright, enthusiastic and with an insatiable love of life.  I can’t confess to knowing him very well, as it is Ryan who represented him, but I am experiencing first hand the raw emotions that are part and parcel of losing someone very dear.

I cannot even begin to imagine what his mother must be going through with three family members lost, and a daughter seriously ill in hospital.  It’s more than any human being should have to endure.

At times like this I struggle with my own feelings of helplessness.  I want to reach out to those who knew Nevin, to try to take their pain away.  I watch my beloved husband struggle with his feelings of loss and sadness, and I want to do something to make it better.  I feel futile.

So I write.  I write these words in the hope that they will help me to make sense of what happened.  I write simply because it is a release; something I can do amidst the chaos of futility.

Hold your loved ones tight today.  Tell them  you love them and never let go.  For you never know… you just never know.

 

Exceeding Expectations: How Being A Parent Can Make You An Expert At Customer Service

I have four children under six and if you read any of my parenting posts on my blog you will see that I parent with compassion and respect.

I followed the Contented Baby routine with my kids: I woke them from naps, fed them according to prescribed times and practiced some “crying down” when I put them to sleep, knowing that they were fully winded and tired.  Some people don’t agree with routines for babies, and prefer instead to practice baby-led parenting.  

But in my opinion, as long as the choice the parent makes for their child is done with the health and happiness of the child at the forefront of their mind, they can’t go too far wrong.

Kind of like how you treat your customers.

The details of how you look after your customers needs aren’t really important.  Whether you give them discounts or special attention, it’s all horses for courses.

But if your intent is to look after them, with their health and happiness at the forefront of your mind, then what you choose doesn’t really matter.  It’s just content.

When you treat them as you would your kids; as individuals, with personal preferences and needs and desires, you will not be able to help but to surpass their expectations.

And just like the child, whose parent meets their needs efficiently, will be happy and healthy: so will your customers.

 

 

 

 

 

Mompreneur Connect: How To Live A Life Filled With Love And Courage, To Build Deeper Connections

I was eating out with my family the other night in a well known pizza restaurant in Belfast.  

As I sat in my chair, sipping my Peroni, I noticed two men sitting together at the table beside us.  They didn’t appear to be in a relationship, but instead looked like two men who hadn’t seen each other in a while, who were enjoying sharing a pizza and catching up.  I was able to openly study them, as they were so engrossed in conversation, they weren’t noticing anyone else.

As I sat there watching them, I had a moment of wonder; as if I was watching a movie.  One man was drinking a carafe of red wine, the other was sipping a beer.  They were sharing pizza and salad, and tearing bread to mop up the juices.  They really looked to be having a good time.  It was the kind of scene that if you were to see it in a movie, it would warm your heart.  You would be pulled into the scene and the lives of the characters, and feel as if you were there with them, loving, living and sharing.

What intrigued me about these two men was the intensity with which they were connecting.  

Human beings are put on this earth for connection – it is why we are here.  But yet connection requires courage and trust in order for it to happen.  We must be willing to expose our self – our whole self, if we are to truly experience a deep connection with another person.

Kind of like at the start of a relationship, when you only show your best side.  Over time, you feel more confident to show more of your likes and dislikes, as your fear of losing the other person, through exposing your own vulnerability, lessens.

Yet, when we are living superficially and only showing our best side, it is exhausting.  Being on “your best behaviour” requires emotional energy and a plastic smile; and it can never be the place where true connection happens.

For when you connect with someone, truly connect, you start to live life fully, and wholeheartedly.

The two men in the pizza restaurant were connecting fully and wholeheartedly, at least so it seemed.  Their interaction was genuine and full of courage.  And in that moment I realised that the only thing that matters is right now, this second.  This is where the magic happens; this is where life begins.  

In the words of an old proverb:

Yesterday is gone and tomorrow has not yet arrived.  

So live in each moment as if it is your last, and have courage to do it with love and with your whole heart.

The Secret of Love is…Relaxing Together

Seeking opportunities to relax together , sharing your interests and ideas.  Depend less on outer stimuli for entertainment.  (The louder the noise, the hollower the drum).  Make it a point to be alone together frequently, simply to be yourselves.

The Secret of Love is…Respect

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So it has been three days since my last blog post.  This is simply because the internet in our hotel ceased to work and I could not access any of my social media sites of commit to my blogging objective.

It was both frustrating and liberating, all at the same time.

As I write this, I am sitting on my bed, sipping the delicious nightcap that was left for us when they turned down our bed, revelling in the fact that the internet has decided to work again, and I can reconnect to the “real” world.

Our time in Provence has been amazing.  I have relaxed more in these five days, than in as long as I can remember.  I shared amazing times with old friends, I reconnected with my beautiful husband, and I witnessed a truly spectacular wedding:  one that I will carry with me for ever more, and that inspired me to silently renew my own wedding vows, while I watched my beloved best friend marry the man she loves.

Tomorrow I will share more.  But for now I want to leave you with today’s quote on the secret of love.  Enjoy!

 

“The Secret of Love is…Respect.  For while feelings fluctuate, respect can remain a constant.  Listen respectfully to your partner’s views when they differ from your own. Preserve a certain dignity in your relationship: for it is that dignity which gives others the freedom to be themselves.”

 

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